Lately I've been a little...well let's say paralyzed when it comes to making a decision. This can be anything from sending my resume into a new but unknown company, to picking an area rug for our new dining room. Big, small - a decision is a decision. I find it's much easier to completely avoid choosing which path to take than to suck it up and just pull the trigger....well at least at first. After awhile the lack of forward momentum and the constant niggling in the back of my brain begins to drive me crazy. But why does making a choice always feel so permanent? And why does that commitment bring about such anxiety?
I think the first thing we need to look at is our fear of commitment. The definition of commit is to bind or obligate, as by pledge or assurance; pledge, to give in trust or charge; consign. (source)
These are all heavy words - to bind, to pledge, to give in trust - and heavy words must be treated with respect. But who said every decision we make has to be permanent? Yes, decisions come with consequences. Some big - hello marriage, children, moving, new job. Some not so big - well, that color is completely wrong for the dining room...however it looks great in the guest bedroom! But as long as every decision is made with as much truth to our spirit as possible, it can't be a wrong decision. If we continue to see our commitments as something separate from our spirit, then they will always come with anxiety and fear of the unknown. However, if we know ourselves inside and out, if we have really spent time discovering who we are and what we believe, then everything we choose to do in life is simply living up to that. Our essential truth. And there is nothing to be scared of, because no matter what it will be a discovery and learning process that leads us closer to joy.
Oh, and I chose a rug. Finally :>)