Today I was going to write about Flea Market Finds. Yup. All the fun, budget friendly home accessories that I found while be-bopping around the Long Beach Flea Market this past Sunday. And while that post will come (there was some great stuff!), as I sat down to write today, I realized that wasn't what I wanted to talk about.
I want to talk about Fear. That Big BAD all encompassing Fear. I think it is the most debilitating emotion we can feel. And I personally have been feeling it quite a bit lately. This past summer I quit my job, sold a house, and moved 2,000 miles across the country to start over. With my husband and dog, but still...I'm starting over. And it scares me to death. So much so that I've basically stopped doing anything. I quit writing. I put off starting this business with my sisters. I quit songwriting. I quit creating.
Fear manifests itself within me in the form of avoidance and procrastination. I didn't even really say goodbye to all my friends (who are my Nashville family) properly...I just put the last box in my car and drove away. Now I knew I'd be seeing them all soon...but avoiding all the change in my life, avoiding saying goodbye was a heck of a lot easier than facing it.
At least at first. Now I've got this pesky frenemy we'll call Fear hanging over my shoulder. Goodness, it's not just over my shoulder, it's been dragging me completely under.
And.
I.
Am.
Tired.
Of.
It.
I'm tired of being afraid. I think I'm at a place where I recognize the only way to dig myself out of this hole I've dug (and oh yes, I dug it), is to let go of my fear. Just let it go. It holds no purpose. It has not one beneficial reason for hanging around anymore. I'm sure it never did, but we all need to give ourselves a break every now and then, right? Today is a new day. Tomorrow will be an even newer one. And I want to face it head on with excitement, creativity, wonder, and gratitude.
I just finished reading a fantastic book called My Year With Eleanor by Nicole Hancock. It's one woman's story about how she overcame her fear of really living life by living out Eleanor Roosevelt's motto:
"Do one thing every day that scares you."
Read it. You'll love it, I promise :>)
I also just found the lyrics to a song my sister and I wrote in Nashville a few years ago...if I felt this way once, I can feel it again...
Fearless
(Coppola, Coppola, Evans)
I've always been scared of standing still
If I don't move fast enough someone else will
But I don't know just what it is I'm running from
Is it someone that I am afraid to become?
What would you do
What would you say
Would you hold on to love or give it away
If today you were fearless?
Who would you be
How would it feel
If the face looking back in the mirror was real
And you became all the beautiful things you've been dreaming
If today you were fearless
I want to look at the world through the eyes of a child
Innocent, hopeful, so brave and wild
No one to stop me and nothing to hold me down
Don't wait for tomorrow - the time is now
What would you do
What would you say
Would you hold on to love or give it away
If today you were fearless?
Who would you be
How would it feel
If the face looking back in the mirror was real
And you became all the beautiful things you've been dreaming
If today you were fearless?
If you weren't afraid to laugh
Weren't afraid to love
Weren't afraid to lose
You'd never think of giving up
If you weren't afraid of time passing you by...
tell me how would you live your life?
Who would you be
How would it feel
If the face looking back in the mirror was real
And you became all the beautiful things you've been dreaming
If today you were fearless?
If today you were fearless
If today you were fearless....
xo,
Kate
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